Dark-Skinned

We live in a society that uplifts fair skin. ‘The lighter, The better’ is what society wants people to see. Well, not all of us fit that “standard". For instance, myself. I am anything but light skinned. Blessed with beautiful deep brown skin, it has not always been so easy to truly see the beauty in that and appreciate that. Especially when everything around me is saying light skinned girls with “pretty hair” are bomber & much more. But as I grew older, I stopped internalizing that status quo and began to realize that I truly am beautiful and LOVE the skin I’m in. I love every shade that ‘We’ as a people come in, but in the media and in general people tend seperate light and dark skinned black females and give the impression that ‘the lighter you are, the more beautiful you are.’ It is very true that there are countless amounts of beautiful light skinned women, but I don’t want people to forget that WE can hold it down too. :-)

 

Some of my favorite “sistahs” …

Naomi Campbell

Yaya DeCosta 

 

Tatyana Ali

Stacey Dash

 

Meagan Good 

 

Jessica White

 

Gabrielle Union 

 

Drew Sidora

Ashanti

Aaliyah

  

   etc.

There are many more and I will find them and blog them. But wait…I’m not done yet. We have to remember the bombies that I find myself drooling over on many occasions…

Usher Raymond

I can’t even look at you like that really because you look like my retarded friend, but let’s be real. I LOVE YOU. You’re fine yes. And your nose has been bashed on, on so many occasions but I always ignored that. Your so cute, fine, sexy, talented…bla bla bla. I’ve had my phases of loving you and not giving a f*$k about you but bottom line…YOU’RE A DIME.

Kobe Bryant

To be honest Kobe, when everyone was obsessed with you, I didn’t think you were shizznit. But then randomly, recently, one day, I saw you and I was like “wait, he’s kinda fine.” So then I stopped denying you and just put you on my list (even though you are a cheater .. tisk tisk) But for some reason, I know you’re a good guy. I hope! lol

Djimon Hounsou

So it took me an hour to spell your name but any who I don’t even think you’re all that fine, your just SO dark I kinda just have to love you  man. It’s a good thing ;-)

  

Ginuwine

NO! excuse me, I meant Ginu'fine’…I mean your songs were sexy as heck and you are too. Where did you go though? I guess it doesn’t matter because your still known as one of the finest RnB singers.

Tyrese Gibson

Your kinda under the radar but “JODIE” you can get it. And in Waist Deep. I got love for you, you lil chocolate thang lol.

Diddy

Puff Daddy, Puff Diddy, P. Diddy, Diddy…whatever the hell your name is. lmao. I mean I have so many things against you but the facts are that your madd successful, a complete BOSS, and a cutie!

Tyson Beckford

Tyson Tyson Tyson. You are the EPITOME of the dream “tall, dark, and handsome” fantasy guy. Your sunken in eyes, lucious lips, got me saying “ooh, shit, damnn…you’re so good!”

Taye Diggs

man I dnt even know what it is. I think its the plain fact that your chocolate and you have some bomb teeth and you can put on a Jamaican accent like it’s NOTHING!

Morris Chestnut

are you kidding me? He’s so fine. His white straight teeth to his lips…seriously what planet are you from?

Idris Elba

You’re not the typical kind of fine for me but there’s just simply SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. I mean fuck it, your bomb. Plus you were in a Tyler Perry movie lol. And you got to kiss Beyonce.

Ps- I came back to edit this blog just for him. OMGOSH he is in this new movie “Takers” and I just found out he has an english accent and only does an american accent for acting. You just went up 1,000,000 in my book.

 

Omarion

I use to make fun of you. You were just a mess back in the day. But you cut your hair (thank God) and to be real, the only reason your up here is because I was just watchin Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami and you were just so bomb on there in every way. So kudo’s to you “O”.

ps- WHAT THE HELL, to this last picture. smh. hahahaha

Chris Tucker

lmao. I’m dying that I even considered you. But let’s be real. In the first Friday and first Rush Hour, YOU COULD GET IT!! And the fact that your hilarious…YOU CAN GET IT!! But you’re lowkey old as hell now =/

Mario

Yeah, Mario! I still bump your first album too. Now I know you didn’t think I forgot about you?? =]. You can look a hot ass mess at times but I ignore it because I know your a baddie fareal. And your little acting career…let’s just say YOU’RE too PRECIOUS!

 

Nick Cannon

don’t even think about it lmao. Hell no.

Sammie

I almosttttt considered you but man I really just couldn’t do it lmao But I doo bump your first album, too, though =]

When I grow up I want to marry a fineeee, tall, dark chocolate man! Milk chocolate really…But I won’t be mad with a light skinned or white, or hell, whatever type, baddie! =]

 

okay that’s it for now. I have to pack and do chores :-/

so until next time…

You were my…First Love???

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

–Pablo Neruda

(That’s a bit extreme for our relationship, but either way, it fit.)

 

For some reason, every time I see your picture. I miss you. Maybe you were significant for the fact that you caught me at such a young age or were truly the first person I could say I connected with. Maybe it was because you were the first person to be patient and willing to find out who I really was. And when you found out, I’ll never forget, you were amazed. Maybe it was because you were the first person to make me feel special and take me on adventures that I’ll never forget. You were free in your mind like me. The only difference is that you acted upon that freedom whereas I just dreamt about it. You were alwaysss there for me and encouraged me to be strong and embrace myself, whether you realize it or not. I saw how much closer we became and how we were almost inseparable. We talked all night and fell asleep on the phone together. I use to hear your ass snore lmao. You were from a whole different world and had already seen everything I had never been exposed too. I guess my innocence is what got you. I would never change or budge my beliefs for you so I guess that made you try harder lol.

It’s almost like we were suppose to be together, but we never did get that far. For some reason we just knew  it wouldn’t work out the way we wanted, although everything in the cards seemed right. But we just knew. Til this day my friends that knew how close we were thought we seriously were boyfriend and girlfriend lmao. You were my first best friend, my first love (of a person lol) even as dysfunctional as we were and how many times I swore on EVERYTHING that I would never talk to you again. You would piss me off that bad. You use to always say that one day in the future we would end up married because I was wifey material. lol. And although I never said it, I secretly wished that too. The connection just seemed that strong for that not to be true. =]

Time went on and we both got into HEAVY relationships. Soon, those relationships took over our lives and we fell apart, slowly, but surely. It kind of felt right that we grew up and apart and got lives that eliminated each other out completely. Although we both had random withdrawal moments where we called each other up @ weird hours like we use too and tried to relive what we had. It just didn’t work.

It’s been about 3 years now and still, every time I see your picture I laugh and smile, but then I get sad again. We’ve had brief convo’s on the phone but from how they went, we both know that ‘flame’ or that ‘THING’ isn’t there anymore.

But you were just a special person. You were special to everyone that knew you. And I never got jealous because I knew my place. High above the rest. But you are one of those people where the memory of you is far better then the reality of what it was. I guess I can turn good memories into my own fantasies of the good times we shared. The truth is, if I saw you today I might just say hi and give you a quick hug and keep walking. Never giving too much! I just thought about you because I’m finally leaving off to college. I was a nerd back then, obsessed with my grades and dreaming about college and you always encouraged that. So in my final days, before I step onto the next phase of my life, I just thought I’d look back and remember you one more time.

“Cross My Mind” By Jill Scott

ps- in about 5 minutes I’ll be asking myself why the hell did I write such a loving letter to someone that is so insignificant in my life now and quite frankly if I talk too for 30 seconds, I’ll be like “ugh, what was the point?” lol. I guess I just care about individual’s more then they care about me at times, which is one of my weaknesses. =[

Pharrell Williams

Pharrell Pharrell Pharrell. Skateboard P. Where do I even start. I’m surprised that it even took me this long to make a tribute in a post about my favorite artist. I’ve never been that type of person to scream and go crazy over celebrities because they are JUST people. But I do admire Pharrell greatly for his genius. He produces first off, but everything he does, he does it with excellence. I think its comedic that I can tell when a song is produced by Neptunes the first time I hear it. He owns everything he does and has N.E.R.D., Neptunes, produced the Clipse, and has many projects. He truly knows how to harness his many talents and interests. A real chance taker.

 

Anywho, I think I like Pharrell so much because of the fact that I see so much of me in him. To our creativeness (although mine is no where near his). And our way of looking at art and seeing art in everything on this planet. I also love how subliminal he is in his songs. It’s like you don’t realize how DIRTY he is being unless you TRULY listen to what he’s saying. And man is he nasty lmao.

 

“I know I want you & you know you want me

but can you promise please, you’ll say yes to me.

I love how you think, you think oh so deep,

& share your thoughts with me, we buzz & fall asleep…do doo do doo do

Do you even really love me, if you do then there’s no painn, do i really even love you, or do i really love yourrr BRRRAINNNN.”

…(tht was okay but then the next verse is)

“Girl un-lach your bra but first un-lach your jaw

it’s cruel to call me dog but your head is under my paw”

Take it how you want!

Then there is “Tape You”…

I’ll let you investigate tht for yourself. Oh, and how can I forget about that one random interlude of Pharrell having a 3some with some girls and you can hear everything vividly, sm(damn)h

Or it could be the exact opposite with him how he has a song called Lapdance but the song is about politics. Oh Pharrell. lol

 

He also raps and sings lol, I love it! & he is in his own world! He does not care at all what people think or say, he just does him. I.E. when he was dancing in McDonalds when those girls were lookin at him crazy.

I, sometimes get spurges(is that a word) to do that but I hold back because I am too scared of looking ridiculously stupid. But no,not Pharrell, he does what he feels. He has a thing for unique looking (beautiful) women which is refreshing to see in a man. He is also a style icon, obviously, seeing how everyone all of a sudden jocked his swag of skateboarding and skinny jeans. I thought it was cool when it was considered “a white thing.” And I love Pharrell for being able to (flip flop) back and forth and relate to both worlds (black & white) and appreciating the beauty in both cultures, music, style, and people. I wish more people were like that.

oh and did i mention he is FINE AS HELL! Sexy in every way! His body makes him sexy, his face, makes him sexy, the fact that he can’t dance and does his own little moves, makes him sexy. Hmm, what else? Oh his talent,  makes him sexy, his style, makes him sexy…i think you get the point. He’s just a sexy man! oh and this…

definately makes him sexy!

There will be another Blog on my lover aka P, but I’m done for now!

Style Stuff

I love fashion and clothes. It’s scary how I’m obsessed. And surprisingly enough I don’t want to go into the fashion industry at all as an adult. I just have this thing with wanting to be a spectacularly dressed person. I love how clothes express your personality. It is the most outspoken form of non-verbal communication. I always figured that maybe I am so obsessed with it because I stay broke and never had the money to full out buy everything that I see and like. Not even a little bit lol. All due to my misfortune in getting a job and circumstances that ALWAYS seem to be the main reason I can’t work, but back to the point. FASHION. I love women who are beautiful with and without artifacts. Women who take chances with style and do it well.

 

 

Seattle, Washington

I am excited about the adventure that will soon be upon me; Seattle, WA.

And that wasn’t always the case with how I felt about it. Ever since I announced that I was going to Seattle for school, I don’t think I’ve gotten more crap about anything else in my life. I’ve had to deal with everything from:

1. Ugh, Seattle?

2. You’re guna kill yourself!

3. They have the highest suicide rate in the nation.

4. The sun never comes out, you’ll be terribly depressed.

5. OMG my friend is out there and had a breakdown because they hated it so much.

6. You are not a Seattle person!

7. You’ll hate it.

etc. …

And although I was very insecure with my decision to leave sunny California (my home since birth), I’ve never had a feeling as strong as the one I have telling me that I will absolutely love Seattle and that it is exactly where I’m suppose to be. I’m excited to expand my horizons and become bigger then my Los Angeles boundaries. I was never a LA person anyways lol. Maybe I’ll decide to live here again when I’m ready to start my career in film and can afford to live the real LA lifestyle.

Through this journey, there has been a lot of self discovery. I learned that no one knows me as much as I know myself, although it took me a while to believe that, sadly.

I am very blessed to have the opportunity to study in another state, a beautiful one, and to have 98% of my expenses paid for. I had to leave 2% to the shopping I know I will do.

The funny thing is how I was 100% set on going to San Jose State. I mean it embodied everything that would make a memoral college experience and seeing how I went to a less than normal high school for 11th and 12th, I felt that I was finally guna get my chance to live it up.

Pros & Cons of SJSU- football games, crazy turnt parties, diversity, near San Fran, a film program, etc. The negatives were that it was a party school, had very large class rooms, and I would just be another number with no individualized attention. Basically this school had everything that would be pleasing to the flesh.

I found however, that SPU had everything that was pleasing to the my inner most person. It was a Christian school but you don’t HAVE to be Christian and/or go to chapel. Everything is by free will. It is a private institution, has great academics, not a party school at all which is good and bad =/, a beautiful campus& dorms, good food, etc.

I realized that it would please me a lot to be around people who are walking, or trying to, walk in the same path as me. I personally get so irritated by people who live for the moment or for the party or for the “turnt” nights. There’s no progression in that. Balance is key for all of that stuff, not indulgence. Seattle is very rich in culture, art, and music which excites me.

I am happy to say that I finally feel like I will be where I’m suppose to be for the first time ever. I am excited to grow spiritually, have fun, and mature as a woman all at the same time.

Inspiration

Disclaimer: this picture was stolen from another blog. Call me a jocker idc I liked it... =]...:-l

I think it's funny how inspiration comes from the weirdest places for me. I could be watching a hood movie and be inspired to find true love in my future and not waste my time or tell myself that I'm just going to have fun right now, with these insignificant niggas. I know I'm better then a lot of the things I subject myself too. So why do I do it?

To be honest I have no clue. Maybe it's boredom or the fact that I'm impatient and anxious or the fact that I feel like i can handle it.

But, in the end, I always find that when I sit still and put God in control of my situations, it always turns out better. It's funny how we often try to take control of situations that are out of our control and we know that they are. But somehow, we trick ourselves into thinking we can handle or fix things. No!

It is true that there are some small things we can do to put ourselves on the right path, but it seems like that isn't the cool thing to do. We are always encouraged to DO something no matter what it is. Society always tells us to DO something. And yes, I hope you're the type to take action but sometimes, just sometimes, it is imperitive to NOT do anything. Sit...and wait...and give the issue to God.

With me, I'm so back and forth with the things I want & the situations I want to handle.

I want a serious relationship but when I get one I want to be free and unrestricted.

I want to cuss out retarted females when they come or look at me wrong, but I want to present myself as a woman of God at all times.

I know the goodness and the peace that comes from following God, but I want to do earthly things.

I want to find me a husband type of guy, but I want God to bless me with the right one for me (when the time comes)

I want to be that Jay Z type of successful to where people know my name and my greatness but I want a simple, chill, joyful but exciting private life.

I want to make & spend money frivulously but I can't stand people who actually do that.

Everything I desire has is a catch 22. So what do I do?

I've learned to leave it to God. It's the only peace of mind I get when stressed. It's the purest peace of mind anyone can get...when they leave IT to God.

So I speak of inspiration...

I am inspired and motivated to have a fruitful life in the most wholesome way. I am inspired to achieve the unachievable.

And although I always laugh at how random the sources are to my momentary inspirations of doing right because of the benefits it reaps, I realize they aren't random at all. I become inspired through the messages God send to me through those RANDOM ways.

Startin to get pissed off; cuz i can't do this