Lately, I've had to make a lot of hard decisions that I didn't think I'd make RIGHT NOW, but I guess there's a reason for everything. But I am happy to know that I have learned so much about myself in the span of 4 days.
Anyone who has been around me lately knows I've been on going to church and reading the bible tuff and even tried to preach to everyone else about the good word. But of course as I am on this good track and everything seems perfect, I get thrown off of it with a quickness. Like Dr. Barnett would say "the devil is a liar." It's not that I'm bad now but I can feel myself starting to put God on the back burner just a little bit and venturing off to do my own things. As much as I could be in denial about it, I know that I am. As much as I recognize what I am doing, and have full control to get back on track, I'm not sure that I want too, which I also don't want to admit. It's so true what they say in church... that people are "Christian" when it is convenient, but when it becomes the time to prove your loyalty and commitment, we flake out.
I strongly dislike fake Christians because they give us all a bad name, but I see that I am struggling with proving myself to God an myself right now. I hate the feeling!
I WANT to so bad be like, well I'm young and have the rest of my life to get things together, but I also know that God blesses those who bless him.
Although the answer seems obvious to what I should do, try convincing my flesh that it's for the best!
P.S.- if anyone thinks like my friend RICKY and thinks this has anything to do with sex or drugs...think again! Believe it or not, there are far more sins then those 2 things. =]
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