Moment’s Like…

It’s moments like these;

when I sit and think about how I don’t feel like I fit.

I sit and wonder, who can I relate too, who is here just for me, who is my friend here.

It’s moments like these when;

I look up at the sky and just have 1 on 1 conversations with God

Its moments like these that;

test my faith in Him, to believe that He will take care of me in the end

It’s moments like this that;

distract me from what I’m suppose to be doing like school

It’s moments like these that;

make me hate myself for caring about these little things so much.

Maybe it’s because I know that, by the end of a life time, the most important thing is relationship & I’m scared that I’ll never have one I’m confident in

But let me not speak too soon.

Satisfaction

I hate how I always want the opposite of what I have:

-when I have long hair, I want short hair

-when I have fake nails, I want my real nails

-when I’m single I want a bf, when I have 1 I want to live freely

it just goes on & on and it’s FREAKIN annoying. Why can’t I just be subtle and happy or SATISFIED!?

God Help me

Selina Khan

Beautiful Brown

Age: 17ish

Hometown: Martinique, West Indies

How She was discovered: “Elite held a casting on my island. They chose ten girls, and I was one of them. My parents were hesitant at first, but now they appreciate that I’m getting to see the world.”

Her Favorite Feature: “My height: five feet nine and a half. Both my parents are short, so I don’t know how I turned out so tall!”

Fashion Must-Haves: “Forever 21. They always have fun things, and it’s cheap.”

Top Beauty Tip: “I have a young-looking face, so when I need to look older for castings I put on black mascara.”

Advice for Aspiring Models: “Finish school! It’s so important to get an education-you can’t model for the rest of your life.”

Seattle

Seattle is nothing how people tried to make it seem.

It is true that it is not for everyone, especially half of the shallow, pointless people I know in LA, but I love it.

I LOVE IT.

It makes me feel so free and happy.

it makes me dream and believe that those dreams can come true.

it makes the sunshine seem a thousand times more beautiful because everyday it has its moments where it peeks through the clouds and it warms you up inside and out.

it makes me feel refreshed.

it makes me realize that the world is NOT like Los Scandalous & trust me its a huge different when you realize that.

it makes me feel so bad for people who are stuck in one place.

it makes me LOVE everyone as an individual and truly have a kind heart.

Seattle Inspires Me

;because it makes me want a glamorous, peaceful, joyous, PURE life.

it makes me put on my Chill Ass Music playlist all day long and feel like I’m floating on a cloud, a natural high.

I love Seattle!

Inspiration

I think everyone wants to be someone else’s inspiration. I know I do. It kind of plays into the whole hopeless romantic part of me.

I’m in love with love.

Love, or what we know love to be, is soo inspiring. It makes you feel like your flying. Like life has so much MORE opportunity and meaning to it with love.

I feel like my life revolves around all kinds of love so that I can one day meet Love and we can be together with no other issues.

Sometimes a little ounce of Love comes your way but you’re so busy being in love with other little things that, in the future, you learn, were just momentary loves, more like LUST’S.

My idea of what Love’s personality is, inspires me. It makes me want to jump, LAUGH, spread joy, help others, nuture those whom have woes, and brighten up the world. But mostly, it makes me want to give all of my Love to someone else, whom I love.

I just haven’t found the right person. And am not looking. If it happens it does, if it doesn’t, I’ll be patient lol. Just know I’m never giving up on love. And if I never receive the kind of love I fantasize about I’ll find another outlet to let love shine.

Blurred & Jaded

I can’t help but be ridiculously excited about life and all that’s to come. I’m finally in college and already see a positive change in myself throughout my attitude, personality, and wardrobe =]. Or maybe it’s the fact that I left LA. I seriously got the change of surrounding and of people that I’ve wanted for a long time and am so excited about that. I feel so grounded.

I am now thinking about minoring in Fashion but I’m not so sure yet. My heart is all throughout the arts and I can’t help but want to dive into every portion/aspect of ARTS. Music, fashion, beauty, film, dance, visual, acting, etc. I feel like I can do it all and do anything now. I feel like it’s all so close to becoming reality. I love college…so far lol. And am always excited when growth, maturity, opportunity, and privilege is in the atmosphere.

I feel blurred because there are so many things I want and I look around and I feel like I’m spinning in the bliss of everything that seems exciting to me. I don’t know how to make it stop or even how to begin. I’m jus blurred and jaded. I change my mind everyday about how I see my future playing out but which one to choose? I woke up this morning feeling like fashion was the path for me because let’s face it, I spend all my time looking up stylish people, being greatly intrigued by and appreciating the beauty in their personal style. Yesterday, I felt like I would be the best director, yelling and shouting cut and making every vision I’ve had come to life right before my very eyes. The day before that I imagined myself in the studio next to Pharrell listening to him making beats; I don’t know exactly my position in that lol.

All of my visions included me being an extremely talented, magnetic, intelligent, diligent, stylish, one-of-a-kind, rare, successful, free spirited, woMan. And the thing is, I know I can be all of that, but how will I do that if I can’t make up my mind or find a specific path that I want to follow. I’m a little worrisome and frustrated, but at the same time trying to leave it completely to God and relax and enjoy this blessed life I wake up to every morning.

God Bless

=]

Makin Beats

I loveee talented people. It’s soo attractive and it makes my world colorful =]

I couldn’t find the one’s of Pharrell that i really wanted…i’ll keep looking.